UC or midwife?

so when I first got pregnant I decided to hire a hands off midwife since I had so many issues to deal with postpartum with my last UC. I really like her. She is very down to earth and nice and she seems very quiet and hands off.

now I am questioning my decision. there are a few reasons I feel like I may want to UC again.
1) there are people that I want at my birth. I want my husband there. he is amazing support for me and really is my Doula. He is so good at knowing what I need and supporting me without using dialogue.
I want my friend Lisa there to videotape. She has been at both my 2nd and 3rd births and did the same thing. by this time, it is kind of a tradition. she is awesome at getting good shots and keeping her mouth shut. she also leaves immediately after the birth so that we can get things under control and comes back after things settle down.
I want my friend Amanda there to take stills. I had NO still shots during my labor and birth with my son. It was because my hubby was busy with me, Lisa was videotaping, and angela didn't know what to do with herself and grabbed her videotape instead of my digital cam which gave us LOTS of video footage but hardly any pics. I also really love Amanda's demeanor and I feel like she would be a calming addition to my birth.

Add a midwife and an assistant on top of that, and possibly one or two of my kids, and we might as well have a party and make it public! I could probably even charge admission and make a little money off of it.

another reason is the money. we will have the 2600 from our tax return next month. I can pay the midwife in full, but wow 2600 bucks when I KNOW I can birth this baby by myself is alot. what I really need is postpartum help. I am not the kind of mom that calls the midwife after the first contraction and has her there for 2 or 3 days. probably not even 12 hours. I know I can wait till the last possible minute to call her and she would honestly probably only be at my house for 4-5 hours total (including postpartum time).

I could use that money to pay for so many things. but then again, if it really came down to it, and she ended up saving my life, 2600 dollars seems like a minimal price for my life!!

Then there's the real issue. 1st baby, I retained my placenta but Dr pulled it out anyway causing my uterus to slightly invert, hurt LIKE HELL even with an epidural. I had extreme postpartum bleeding which they gave me a big bag of pitocin and saline to control.
2nd baby, i retained my placenta again. I as bleeding fast again. My midwife gave me methergine and I used nipple stimulation while she used light traction to get it to separate. She also injected pitocin into the cord which I have hear 2 different opinions about. One person said, it could have made my uterus clamp down and I would have had to transfer to get the placenta out, another person said it basically did nothing. I also got a shot of pit in my thigh. But I felt good after this birth! I didn't at all feel like I had lost alot of blood.
3rd baby- UC- I was bleeding alot. I was trying to wait for the placenta before I cut the cord but I knew I was bleeding too much, and I needed to work on getting that placenta out. I waited until the cord was flacid to cut it and then moved to the bathroom. Alex stimulated my nipples, I tried nursing but baby wasn't latching. The time in the tub flew by. I was starting to fade out. I knew I had pitocin in the fridge but I couldn't use it until the placenta was out so it was useless to me now. I was afraid to pull on the cord at all because I was afraid of another uterine inversion and I definitely wasn't inflicting that on myself. I did take some angelica but I can't even remember how much or how many times. I got to the point that I was ready to transfer. It wasn't until my hubby and my friend left me alone that I could really get my body working again. finally, an hour and 50 minutes later (bleeding heavily the whole time) I got my placenta out. once it was out, the bleeding got back to normal but I had already lost alot of blood and it affected me for almost 3 weeks. I couldn't stand up for more than a few seconds without feeling like I was going to pass out. that lasted for 2 and a half weeks. just moving from the bedroom to the living room was a problem for me.

so here's my inner debate on that.
1) maybe it was the fact that my husband and my friend were watching me that I couldn't get the placenta out.
2)maybe a midwife would have pulled too soon due to the fact that Iw as bleeding and I would have had a bigger problem than I did.
3)maybe if I had paid more attention to my previous births, I would have been more prepared instead of being in denial.
maybe this time I could make sure that I have "placenta out" and other herbal preps for that problem.


I don't know. I guess I am still debating. good thing I've got some time.