almost 8 months... man time flies!

I can't believe that 7 and a half months ago, my little man was so new to our world. He is growing up to be such a handsome happy little boy! He is so smiley all the time and has so much personality. I love having a boy! he is so cuddly and such a little lovebug. If I am upset about anything, I just snuggle with him and the rest of the world just melts away. He is HUMONGOUS!!! He is already 24 pounds, from mama's milk only. We tried some sweet potatoes and he did not digest them well so I went back to exclusive breastmilk. I do give him cultured veggies occasionally. he really likes them.
oh he really likes paper too but we try to keep himfrom ingesting it, although, I am sure he's gotten a piece or two by us.

He abolutely loves his big sisters and they love him back with a fierceness! This boy never has to worry about not having enough love in his life, because there is an abundance for him in our house!!

He says mama, dada, and no! he is crawling backwards and goes backwords in his walker as well.

So lately, we've just been working, trying to get our house done, andenjoying our family. Just thought I would update this a little but don't have enough time for much more because the little man is calling me right now!!!

time passes so quickly

I can't believe he is already 3 weeks old today.

Things have been going great! my girls love playing with their little brother and Alex is so thrilled to have a son. I wish he was able to spend more time at home, but he is working hard to support us and go to school. I know I say this all the time but I am just so lucky to have such an awesome husband.

Cyrus is nursing so heartily! He loves him some boobie! I know alot of breastfeeding moms don't like the term "boobie" but I love it! and since it is my boobs in discussion, I will call them whatever I want. I don't care if my 2 year old asks for some boobie. I think it's cute. Yes I plan on nursing till at least 2 years old. (gasp) I know that is shocking to some of you but get over it people! It's the best thing for him and since Lexi has so many food issues, I will nurse for as long as I can. (well I may not be as hardcore as some moms. I think it's a little surprising to see a 4 year old breastfeeding.)

He is getting so big already. We are going to do another weigh and measure tonite so I will update to let everyone know how big my little monster is.

Well I'm not going too many places lately. I am really trying to focus on homeschooling again now that I'm not overly pregnant and laboring on and off. It's also hard to wrangle lexi with a newborn in tow so I usually wait till Alex is home to go most places. If you wanna hang out, you are welcome to come to my place!

well I guess that's it for today. anyone with good info on ECing, send it my way. It's something I am considering.

Adjustments

I know people always talk about how different their kids are. I am nothing new in that sense, but it has really impacted me to see just how different each of my kids are even from birth.

things have been going really well. Cyrus is so chilled out and peaceful. I really think it is because I spent alot of time meditating at the end of my pregnancy and throughout my labor.

Alex got an extra paid week off of work. I am so happy having him here every day. He has made my post partum time a dream! He takes care of all of us so well, he really shows his l;ove for all of us.

I know everyone thinks I am hiding in a hole right now, and I guess I kind of am, but I am really enjoying this hole right now so it may be awhile before everyone starts hearing from me again.

Babymooning Bliss

So our little one is 5 days old now. I can't believe how fast this first week is going by. I have been exhausted so I am sorry to those of you who I haven't called. Anyway, I'll post a couple of pics of cyrus here and will catch up on blogging soon when things are a little more adjusted around here!

Happy April Fool's Day Baby!!!

But this is not a joke. our new addition has finally arrived! So here is the whole story...



My water started leaking March 19th, the night before my due date. After about 5 days of a slow leak I felt like the baby either dropped down further and corked it or it sealed back up because the leaking stopped.



By Monday, march 3oth, morning I was finally feeling very emotional about being so far overdue. When I went to my midwife appt she tarted talking about induction because I was "getting up there in days and we needed to think about something if the baby didn't come."

I had contractions all day that day. At 5 I was sitting on the bed with Alex and I felt something bubbling all the way down from the top of my belly and I got a nice little gush. This time it was much more than the leak I had originally felt. I knew the break was high because I could feel it bubbling every time before I would get little gushes. My contractions died down around 2 AM Tuesday the 31st(for the 3rd time) but still kept coming occasionally. At 4 AM I had bloody show and alot of mucous. All through out the day I got irregular contractions and continued to have bloody show and mucous. I knew that my body was showing signs of working but at the end of being 11 days overdue, I was really feeling discouraged.

I went to bed at midnight April 1st. I woke up at 2 am and I thought I was peeing in my pants. I jumped out of bed and I couldn't stop it. That's when I realized that my membranes had officially ruptured. After that the contractions started coming about every 6-9 minutes. Alex was sleeping and I was rolling and lightly moaning in the bed all night. When I finally woke him up around 8 my contractions were definitely picking up to where I had to get on all 4s to get through them. I sent out my text message to all of my closest friends to light their candles for me around 9 or 10. I knew it was it. It was different than it had been the last few days.

The whole day I just moved from place to place throughout the house. My contractions were every 4-6 minutes by now and definitely uncomfortable but I was fine in between them. At about noon I decided to try to get some rest since I had basically been up all night. I laid down for an hour or so and then all of a sudden I got a big one that shot me up out of the bed.

I got up and decided I needed a distraction so I turned on my playlist on the computer. The song "better together" by jack johnson came on and all of a sudden I was crying. I didn't want my husband to know because I knew he would think I was crying because I was in pain but it was because the song made me think of how much I love him and I just couldn't hold the tears back but I knew I wasn't able to tell him that. A long explanation would have been impossible at that point so walked into the other room. I should have known I was starting transition. That was about the time I started needing counter pressure on my back and hips.
Thank the Gods for my husband's strength because I needed a great amount of pressure to relieve the pressure I was feeling down below. I called my friend who was my other support person and my friend to vidoetape to come over.

I am not really sure about time during this period because I was entering laborland without even knowing it. My senses really heightened and time and all my surroundings were beginning to slip away. I just tried to get through the contractions and sing in between them.

Every now and then Alex would ask me if he wanted me to set up the pool but I just kept putting him off because I wanted to save it for when I got to a point of needing something new. About 2 minutes after the last time he asked me, I suddenly decided that I needed the tub, "like urgently". He started filling up the tub and I got in. When the hot water ran out I told him to turn it off to let it heat up and we would fill it the rest of the way when I got closer to having the baby. I was still in denial of how close my body was telling me it was. I was actually starting to get scared for a few minutes because I wasn't sure if I could deal with the pressure when It would be time to push. I kept thinking I was probably about 5-6 cm dilated but I was really trying to not focus on numbers. We never got a chance to finish filling up the tub.

At some point my 2 friends had showed up but I was in another realm of reality and I have no idea how long they were there before I started pushing. Shortly after they got there I wanted to sit on the toilet. I remember them trying to dry offer me towels to dry off with and I just walked right past them naked and dripping. The cold air on my wet body felt so good. I sat on the toilet through a contraction. And then moved back to the pool. When I got back in I started pushing just a little bit to see how it felt. I could feel my cervix stretching and burning on the inside so I thought that a little bit of pressure wouldn't hurt to see how felt. That little push made my whole body curl like a cat. Alex, Angela, and Lisa all asked if the tape needed to be turned back on. I couldn't answer. I could only react to what my body felt.
After that, I jumped out of the pool again to get back on the toilet. I knew that if the rectal pressure was a need to empty my bowels that the toilet was where I needed to be. As soon as I sat down I could not hold back bearing down. I let out a sound that sounded like a bear. As soon as I could release, I jumped off and told them all that the baby was coming. I couldn't explain how I knew because I couldn't even think of an explanation. I just knew. I got back in the pool and got on one knee and had one knee raised. I stuck my finger in to see if I could feel the baby's head yet. I was so shocked that I barely had to reach in at all. The baby's head was just an inch away from crowning.

I started to push and growl. I felt closer to being earthly and animal like than I ever had. I felt the head crown. Alex reached his hand down to feel. It came out to the forehead and then stopped moving. Alex asked me if I wanted to lean back and I tried because I knew he wanted to cath the baby but when I moved the baby started moving!!! It totally freaked me out and was nearly unbearable so I just stayed in my position. My first instinct was to bear down harder but when I started to I felt like I was going to tear. So I verbally reminded myself to let my tissues stretch. To just let it sit there for a moment. I suddenly felt the ears slip out. I pushed a little harder and felt the chin slip out.

I couldn't hold back anymore. The pushing sensation overwhelmed me. I slowly felt the shoulders wiggle out one by one. One last push and Alex and I grabbed our baby together to bring to the surface. The baby coughed and breathed immediately and only made one little squack. I suctioned with the bulb syringe real quick. Lisa and angela both asked what it is. Alex checked.
"It's a BOY! I have a son!!" (we have 2 girls)
We called our daughters immediately.
We waited for the cord to stop pumping and then cut the cord. (We had a little issue with the cord ring and ended up cutting it off real quick and putting a cord clamp onto it)

I decided to let Alex take the baby to get him warmed up because he was getting very cold with wet towels on and I moved to the bathtub to push out the placenta. It didn't come. I tried nursing in the tub but he didn't want to latch on. I tried this for awhile but started losing alot of blood and felt like I needed to do something else. Alex even tried stimulating my nipples to get my uterus contracting but nothing was really happening. I started to feel lightheaded and told Alex to take the baby so he could be warm and with a parent. I told Angela to massage my uterus as hard as she could because I couldn't get the right kind of pressure. She did that for a little while. Nothing was really happening. I started to get lightheaded and started thinking about what would happen if I passed out. I was naked and bleeding. how could they get me anywhere without calling for help? So I decided that we needed to go up to the birthcenter where I work for help.

Angela and Alex started packing things up and getting ready for transport.
I turned on the water to try to rinse off so I could try to get out without being covered in blood. All of a sudden my body and mind started working together again. I knew I didn't want to go anywhere and I think my uterus knew that too because all of a sudden, I pushed out my placenta on my own.
Immediately my head started to clear. I had delivered our son at 3:20 pm. It was 4:55pm. The hour and a half had flown by me.
I turned on the cold water and tried to push out anything else left, slightly rinsed off just for quick transport to the other bathroom and MOVED!!!

I knew I had a limited amount of time on my feet but I didn't want to shower in the bathroom I had already bled all over. I turned on a cold shower, washed off, and moved to the bed and fast as I could. Somewhere in there I took a couple of doses of Angelica to help with the bleeding.

I had done it. I had birthed my child all by the clues my body gave. I birthed my placenta when I thought my body was failing me. I lost alot of blood and I didn't have to get pitocin or methergine. I did it and dealt with the something that I feared most (placental retention) and my baby and I were both healthy in the end.

We had a little trouble getting started with the nursing but he has caught on rapidly and loves the gushy gushy good stuff! Our family has been basking in the glow for the last 36 hours. We had our ultimate birth experience and We finally have a son!

Cyrus Phoenix Yunker
Born April1st, 2009
3:20 pm
8lbs 15oz
21.5 inches long
and quite the Zen Master...

11 days.. are we still in counting?

Yes yes I believe we are. so my water finally broke broke yesterday around 5 pm. It started leaking the day before my due date and the last few days had seemed like it sealed bacck up. Then Yesterday while I was sitting on the bed I felt this really strange bubbling sensation and then felt like I peed my pants. The break is high because everytime it gushes, I can feel it bubbling from the top all the way down my stomach right before it comes out.

I had some serious contractions yesterday. I sent my kids off again because I was pretty sure this was it since my water had broken and my contractions were getting pretty strong. We sent our kids off again. I labored pretty hard. By 11 I had to go into the bedroom because the TV was just too much for my senses. I was very much having to focus through the contractions, and laid down and rested for a couple hours just trying to meditate through them. Then at some point, I guess someone hit the off button because I once again fell asleep and the contractions slowed down tremendously. Like my body just said, that's it for today.

I did still contract some throughout the night because I woke up to some of them and when I got up at 4, I had bloody show that I didn't before laying down. Then throughout the morning today I have lost my mucous plug, so even just the few I've had today have done something. I am just a lady in waiting right now. Thank god my husband is so patient. he has been amazing through all of this. Always reminding me that this birth is not about centimeters and percentages. I am lucky to have him by my side for this journey. I think alot of husbands would really be questioning the situation (god knows his brother and his mother are) and he just stands unfaltering that birth is a process and sometimes that process is long but it doesn't mean I am not capable.

I have tried so hard to be peaceful. I can still easily channel that peaceful feeling, but it is also so easy to feel almost like I am stir crazy. All of the logical answers make sense. I know them all. I am familiar with birth and everything that is happening makes sense... but man it is so easy to just let my emotions take over and I want to throw myself to the floor and pound it with my fists and cry and throw a big fat temper tantrum. But that won't really help anything either will it?

well, adieu for now. Hopefully a big update coming soon! (hopefully not like 9 or 10 pounds big tho)

fears

I guess I am needing to write down some fears as I think that is why I am getting so anxious about going overdue. I think if I make a statement of what I am fearful about I can relax and let something happen or at least just stop worrying about it.

I am not in any way fearful of giving birth. I am not afraid of tearing or bleeding. I feel I am equipped to handle the normal things that people fear in birth.

It does not scare me to go overdue but I am afraid of giving in to the thought that maybe I might not get regular contractions, or maybe it might be a longer labor than I imagined. I had such a short labor with lexi but after Wednesday, when I was so sure I was going to enter the hard labor phase any minute, It makes me realize that I could very well labor for several hours. With Lexi's birth, I was already further dilated several weeks before where I am now.

I am afraid that if I go see the midwife tomorrow and let her check me, she will try to strip my membranes. I would decline my pelvic but part of me is even afraid of me wanting her to! When I look at it logically, I know it is not a risk I want to take but when I think about just wanting to have this baby ASAP it seems like it's not as big of a deal as induction. I will probably just see if I can put my appt off until Wednesday and hopefully it will happen all on it's own before then.

I guess this is where I have to just accept that I could be pregnant a few days more and let go of my fears. I love giving birth, and I love testing my faith in my own body. I know that even if I have a long labor that I will be able to move through it and deliver a beautiful baby. I know that it will make me a stronger person. I know I will learn more about myself during the process.